Why I Believe

I tend to be a pretty practically-minded person.  If something doesn't make sense to me, it's pretty much out.  I like things that I can use, that serve a purpose, that make sense.  I can't think of anything I own just because I like the way it looks....for me to spend money on an item, it has to be something I can pick up and use.  I don't understand bed ruffles, throw pillows, doilies, and the like, although I have learned to live with them for the sake of my marriage.  But in general, if there isn't a good, practical reason to have something, it's pretty much out. 

Same for my beliefs.  I don't believe in UFO's, bigfoot, or the loch ness monster because people have been looking for them for years and there's still no proof they exist.  I don't believe in colon cleansing, ear candles, or fortune tellers because there's no evidence that they are effective for anything besides taking your money.  What I do believe in is the amazing capacity of the human mind to convince itself of things it wants to be true, whether there is any evidence to support it or not.  I guess I have become a bit of a skeptic about most things. 

So why would a skeptical, analytical person like myself decide it was a good idea to believe it when some guy tells me there is an all-powerful being up in the sky somewhere who created the earth and everything in it and that after I die, this all-powerful being is going to judge me and either take me to Paradise to be with him or cast me into a place of eternal torment?  Why would I believe him when he explained to me that this "God" is perfect and can't tolerate the presence of sin, that I am inherently sinful and not fit to be in God's presence, and will be judged accordingly, except for the fact that this "God" decided to send a part of himself to earth to die and pay the price for my sins so I can then be perfect in his sight?  Why would I believe him when he said that this "God" is in control of all that happens and has a plan for this world and everyone in it, including myself?

Let's look at the evidence......

If you ask the right people, there is an unbelievable amount of archeological and historical evidence that suggests the Bible is true. There is a great amount of scientific evidence to suggest that the earth was created and that at least suggests the possibility of the existence of a supreme being.  There are eyewitness accounts in the Bible that tell about the birth, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. 

But on the flip side, if you ask some other very smart people, there is also plenty of archeological and historical evidence that the Bible may not be historically accurate.  There is also plenty of scientific evidence that can be interpreted to contradict things that are asserted in the Bible.  There are plenty of people who claim to find multiple contradictions and inconsistencies in the Bible.  And it only makes sense that using the Bible to back up claims that Christianity is real is kinda like me trying to convince you I'm not a liar by telling you I'm not lying, so we won't go there.

So from a non-biased perspective, the evidence is sketchy at best.  Not enough to base one's entire belief system on in any case.  You can find evidence for anything pretty much anywhere you look and you can make it say whatever you want.  I'm not saying that conclusive evidence isn't out there somewhere; maybe we just haven't been smart enough to find the pieces and put them together correctly. 

So why do I believe what I do?  Why do I base my entire life on this "God", the things he says, and the things he has done on my behalf, when I can't remotely prove he's even real??

I dunno. Honestly.  And just so I can stay true to the theme of this blog, let me say "neither do you."  This is probably the part that will offend those who are inclined to be offended and are uncomfortable with the thought of questioning one's faith.  This is also the part that will resonate so strongly with those of us who are honest with ourselves and admit that we struggle with the same questions.  So the answer is.....I don't know.

What I do know is that when I was a kid I went to church sporadically.  I heard the sermons, read the Bible stories, did vacation bible school, and it all went in one ear and out the other.  That was the status quo until I was about fifteen, when I started going to this little church in my hometown.  It wasn't an extraordinary church by any stretch, but the people were nice so I kept going.  I remember hearing the sermons, which were not much different than any of the others I'd heard, and realizing the guy was talking about me.  It was like a light came on.  Long story short, I accepted Jesus as my savior that year.  I don't have one of those miraculous salvation stories, far from it, but when I look back over my life, that event marked a real change in the direction of my life.  I've been through a lot of struggles since then, many of which I wouldn't have had were it not for my faith.  I've struggled with my faith a lot.  There was a time I just couldn't get things to 'work' and really wanted to turn my back on it all, but for some reason I just couldn't do it.  There were times when I just didn't believe.  It didn't make sense and I didn't believe it and I wanted to turn away from it all and do my own thing, but again, I just couldn't do it, even though I probably would have been happier at the time if I could have. 

What does that all mean?  It means that once I was dead, without the power to even realize I was dead.  It means that God, in his mercy, breathed life into me, not of my own decison but of his.  It means that there was a change in my life that I know didn't come from within me.  I didn't find him, he found me, and it has changed the direction of my life ever since, in ways I never could have orchestrated.  There was nothing special about the sermons I heard or the church I went to that could have opened my eyes when nothing had ever been able to do it before.  It means that God has preserved me through all my doubts, struggles, disobedience, rebellion, and has continued to work out his plans for me in spite of myself.  I'm still square in the middle of that process, so I have no idea where I'm going from here, but I can look back over the last 27 years and see a lot of it as clear as day. 

Even still, though, I have doubts.  I've learned to accept them as part of being human and being the kind of person I am.  God knows about them and he sustains me through them.  The reason I believe is that I just do.  Some things are simply a matter of faith.  I can't explain it so that it will make sense to you if it doesn't already, except that God has placed this faith in my heart and try as I might, I can't let it go.  Or maybe it won't let go of me.  Maybe I'll die one day and that will be the end, in which case I've lost nothing.  Or maybe I'll die one day and it won't be the end, in which case I have gained everything.



Is anyone willing to share how you have dealt with times of doubt in your Christian walk?  Too many people struggle with this in silence, thinking they are the only one, so your story could make a lot of difference to someone.